I 
Couldn’t have been more beautiful 
Than I was last night. 
I couldn’t have been sexier, 
Juicier, 
Or more luscious. 
My ass couldn’t have been bigger 
Or glowed more brightly. 
My teeth couldn’t have been whiter, 
Skin softer, 
Hair shinier. 
I couldn’t have smelled any sweeter, 
Been nicer, 
Skinnier, 
Funnier, 
Or more holy. 

And still I was not enough 
For you. 
‘Not enough’,
My friends tell me, 
Will never be my issue. 
They say it’s ‘the too much’ 
That leaves lovers like me 
Strangled by our own question marks. 

You see—
Some women love lightly, 
Like whispers wrapped in spun sugar. 
And these are the ones who make it so hard 
For the blue-black molasses 
Ever-lasting taffy kind of love 
That overwhelms the tongue. 
They make it hard for those of us who, 
Due to circumstances beyond our control, 
Are destined to always 
Over-love with a vengeance. 

We are the spell-casting blue magic witches, 
Mixing menstrual fluid into barbeque sauce. 
We will gather your pubic hairs under the new moon 
And bottle them in our piss. 
Our territory is blood and dreams, 
Past lives and other states over which 
You have no control. 

Be warned: you will lose all control. 

So if you really need to keep it, 
If you can’t keep it real, 
If intensity and complexity 
Just ain’t your thing, 
If you can’t handle the truth, 
Then brethren—fuck you. 

‘Cause in this house of worship 
There is no room for emotions 
That judge and demand regret 
For our pleasure. 
If forty-eight hours later was too soon 
For you to be in my mouth, 
Than you shouldn’t have come there. 
But don’t you tell me it’s my fault. 
Every way I am is divine. 
I won’t feel guilty. 
I just won’t be ashamed. 
I will not hide this story. 
My craft obligates me to tell the truth. 

And, brothers, y’all need to know: 
If too much sugar makes you sick, 
Spoils your appetite for even the smell of dinner, 
There are certain flavors of women 
You should not consume. 
‘Cause tasting even a little bit 
Of what you know you can’t swallow 
Is 
Just 
Disrespectful.

“The too much” ● Christa Bell

(Vía mujerinterrumpida)